Comparison vs. Contentment: The Battle for Your Happiness

Have you ever felt like you were doing really well—until you saw someone else doing “better”? Maybe you were proud of your progress, feeling great about how far you’ve come. Then, you scrolled through social media or saw someone excelling in your field, and suddenly, you felt behind.

One moment, you were content. Next, you were questioning everything.

And now, you’re using that as “motivation” again.

Comparison is sneaky. It disguises itself as motivation, but more often than not, it leaves you feeling inadequate, stuck, or like you’re never enough. The truth is, the more you compare, the harder it becomes to appreciate yourself, your journey, and your own success.

But why do we do this? And more importantly—how do we stop?

Comparison Can Be Useful

Comparison itself isn’t the enemy. In fact, it has real benefits.

• You compare how fast a car is going to decide whether to turn.

• Our ancestors compared the size of a charging animal to assess danger.

• You compare the food on your plate to the size of your stomach to decide if you want more or less.

These are all practical uses of comparison. The problem begins when we let our minds compare unconsciously—especially when scrolling through social media, looking at someone else’s life, career, or achievements. That’s when it becomes toxic.

Stay in Your Own Lane

If you’re too focused on someone else’s lane, you’ll never reach your destination.

A perfect example of this happened in the Olympics. There was a famous image of Michael Phelps winning gold. In the picture, the swimmer next to him—who was right behind him in the race—was caught mid-stroke, looking at Phelps instead of focusing on his own race. He ended up losing.

Why? Because instead of putting 100% of his focus into his own performance, he was too busy checking on Michael Phelps.

That’s exactly what happens when we get caught up in comparison. Instead of putting all our energy into our own journey, we waste it worrying about where someone else is. And in doing so, we slow ourselves down.

Your metric for success is not “how much better am i doing than everyone else”. That’s how you go through life never really being satisfied with yourself since you’re always measuring your success on the basis of how much better you’re doing compared to others. You end up placing value on others instead of yourself. 

This reminds me of a friend who once told me “I want to be confident enough to be able to walk into a room and feel like i’m better than everyone in the room”. Confidence is about being able to walk into a room, not having the NEED to compare yourself to anyone.  

Your job isn’t to check on others—it’s to swim your own race. Stay in your lane. Stay on your path.

Your Path is Your Own

People ask me, “How do you stay in such good shape?”
I’ve been into health and fitness since I was 14. I’ve experimented with different workouts, played various sports, and figured out what works for me. Now, at 27, I have a solid grasp of how to stay in shape.

But if someone hasn’t dedicated years to fitness, why would they compare themselves to me? It’s pointless.

Never compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.

After 20 chapters worth of experience, things start to look effortless. But when you’re just starting, you only have one chapter’s worth of experience—it’s unrealistic to expect mastery right away.

“You’ll never be a graceful master if you don’t allow yourself to be a foolish beginner.”

Everything has a foolish beginner stage. Imagine someone stepping into their first boxing class. Their punches will be awkward, their form will be off. But if they keep showing up, a year from now, their punches will be sharper, and their movements will be cleaner.

You have to be willing to go through the foolish beginner stage. Keep showing up. If you focus on being just 1% better than yesterday, soon enough, you’ll start seeing real progress.

The Trap of "Should"

Or maybe you’re not comparing yourself to someone else—you’re comparing yourself to where you think you should be.

And let me tell you something: should is a shame word.

When you say, "I should be further along," "I should have more money," "I should be in better shape,"—you’re shaming yourself. You’re "should-ing" all over yourself.

But here’s the truth: If you should be there, you would already be there.

Rarely does comparison make you feel good. Whether you’re comparing yourself to someone else or to some unrealistic version of where you "should" be, it usually leads to one thing: lack.

• I don’t have as much as they do.

• I’m not as happy as they are.

• I’m not as far along as I should be.

Lack. Lack. Lack.

And do you know what lack does? It repels what you want.

Jealousy works the same way. When you look at someone else and think, Damn, I wish I had their body. I wish I had their car. I wish I had their money. I wish I had their success, you’re reinforcing the fact that you don’t have it.

And lack and jealousy? They are not magnetic energies.

You don’t attract what you want from a place of jealousy. You attract what you want from a place of abundance.

Turning Comparison into Celebration

So, what if instead of feeling jealous, you flipped the script?

What if, when you saw someone with the success, the lifestyle, or the body you want, you said, “Hell yeah. Good for you.”

What if, instead of letting comparison make you feel less than, you let it inspire you?

I used to get jealous when I saw people with nice cars, big houses, or traveling the world. But now? When I see it, even on Instagram, I say, Fuck yeah. Good for you.

Because I know that in order to get where they are, they had to go through a lot. They had to work. They had to struggle.

And if they did it, I can too.

The Only Comparison That Matters

Comparing yourself to others is draining, discouraging, and often misleading. But comparing yourself to who you were yesterday? That’s empowering.

Ask yourself:
✔ Do I have more knowledge than I did yesterday?
✔ Am I making better choices for my health than I was yesterday?
✔ Am I reading more, expanding my intellect?
✔ Do I have more money in my bank account than I did six months ago?

When you compare yourself, how do you feel?

If comparison makes you feel bad, chances are, you’re measuring yourself against someone else’s journey. If it makes you feel good, it’s probably because you’re reflecting on your own progress—and that fuels even more action.

So, why would you choose the option that makes you feel bad?

Wouldn’t you rather choose the path that inspires you to take action toward progress?

Direction. Action. Time. That’s the formula. Keep moving forward, and trust that your time will come.