3 REASONS WHY YOU SELF SABOTAGE & HOW TO OVERCOME THEM

When you embark on your journey to create the life that you want or build your dream physique or nurture a healthy relationship there’s going to be times where you’ll feel like you keep going back into the same cycles.

You keep doing things that you know you have no business doing but for some reason you feel like you have no control over it. And that affects your progress. Now you’re back where you started and questioning why you always end up back here, feeling the same emotions.

Self sabotage is self destruction.

And if you don’t become aware of these 3 principles, you’ll end up repeating the same cycles over and over again …

SELF AWARENESS

You have to understand that there is a sense of duality within you.

There’s a version of you that wants to level up - the dream physique, dream partner, dream job, dream house, dream income. And there’s the current/old you - the physique you have now, relationships you have now, the money you have now.

Think of them as 2 separate doppelgangers. They are possible versions of you but NOT you.

The current/old you has created the life it has now through its thoughts and emotions. Those thoughts and emotions are created by people, circumstances, influences, parents, events, trauma etc… You’ve now created a story in your mind of who you are - your identity. So essentially you have created this doppelganger since you were born constantly adding to it.

But now you’re at a stage where you’re striving for a different life. A better life. Relationships. Wealth. Confidence. Self esteem. Health.

Why is it that when you’re on this journey to become better, you find yourself coming back to the same position. Feeling the same emotions. Almost like it’s out of your control. Why is it that whenever you take 2 steps forward, there’s 5 steps backwards? Why is it that when things get good, you start losing your grip?

It’s not you. It’s your doppelganger. After having cultivated this lifelong relationship with your doppelganger all of a sudden you want to change? You want the doppelganger that has your desired reality. The old doppelganger starts fearing losing itself. And to be honest, it has the right to do so because you created it! You fed it with your thoughts and emotions.

Once you start making a little progress like no longer being triggered to the point you were before, no longer perceiving things from a negative perspective or no longer re-living in past scenarios your old doppelganger will start to feel like it’s losing itself. What does this have to do with self sabotage?

The old doppelganger will now project its fear onto you. So now, whenever you make progress, you begin to associate progress with fear. Why would I want to feel fear? The brain always avoids fear. You now avoid success because fear=progress.

LESSON #1 COURAGE & FOCUS

Isolate yourself from the old version of you.

Become aware that the fear is NOT you.

This level of awareness changed the game for me. And now, just like changing a habit requires you not to stop it but overwrite it with a healthier habit, you need to replace that projected fear with a different emotion and action.

Courage and focus.

We experience the life we choose to focus on. You need to focus your attention on the desired reality, relationship, physique that you want as opposed to what is going to happen if you don’t. When our focus is based on avoiding something(fear), we tend to fall short in the long run. When our focus is based on our desired state we begin to move with courage.

LESSON #2 SELF WORTH

Your self worth is the ceiling of anything you’re wanting to become/achieve. So the higher your self esteem the more likely it is for you to become the person you want to be or achieve your desired outcome. Your old self had limited self worth. Hence, its ceiling is lower than that of your new/ desired self.

Your self worth is based on your self esteem (your self image). Your self esteem projects how confident you are. Your confidence is based on your self trust. And your self trust is based on your ability to do what you know you should/shouldn’t do.

You know you shouldn’t be hanging around those people because you know what happens in the end. You know you shouldn’t reach for that snack and have your fruits instead. You know you should wake up at the time you said you would.

By not following through on what you promise to yourself, you chip away at your self worth.

When you’re unable to keep your word to yourself you lose trust in yourself just like you would if someone else continuously lied to you.

Do yourself a favour. Respect yourself and follow through on your word to yourself.

LESSON #3 WHO/WHAT ARE YOU NOT WILLING TO LET GO OF?

Ever wondered why prison is a punishment?

Or even afterschool detention?

Us humans have evolved in groups. Co-dependency is the reason why we’ve evolved so far. And anytime we weren’t in a group it signalled death. This is why isolation in prison and school detention is a punishment.

Our minds are wired to fear being alone.

Groups are based on conformity which is rewarded by approval. That approval is what we interpret as love. Chances are, the people in your friendship group all have similar ways of thinking, similar income, similar relationships, similar energy. The moment you start aligning with your desired life, your energy is going to change. And change is the opposite of conformity. You no longer conform.

For you to get something you’ve never had, you need to become someone you’ve never been.

Now, look at your current environment. Your friends, family, and habits all shape your energy. If you want to become someone new, your energy has to shift. And with that shift, some people, habits, and beliefs will no longer align with you.

Deep down, your mind fears that if you change, you’ll lose approval, and if you lose approval, you’ll be alone. And to your subconscious, alone = unsafe. That’s why change feels so hard—it challenges the security of conformity. It doesn’t feel nice does it aha. Change is hard. Because what’s at stake here is Love.

“Shit. If I don't conform, I won't have approval (love). If i don’t have approval i won’t be in a group. And if i’m not in a group, i’ll die.”

But do you want the love of those around you if it’s conditional upon you staying exactly where you are now?

Is that love or is that control?

This is not to imply that once you start elevating, people will try to bring you down with malicious intent. It’s just how we’re wired to think. We all want to stay in a group. Once you become aware of that, you can understand why certain people will feel betrayed by your new energy, habits, and life.